Nesh Nikolic

View Original

How to Find a Good Marriage Counsellor

SPECIAL NOTICE | Nesh is currently looking for registered psychologists to join the team at Strategic Psychology. See available positions

Marriage counseling is a process wherein married couples are presented with tools and techniques that enable them to improve their relationship and resolve interpersonal conflicts. Marriage counseling also helps a couple to recognize ways to improve their ability to communicate with each other and aids them in rebuilding and strengthening their marriage.

Once you and your partner have decided to go for marriage counseling, the process is often facilitated by a marriage and relationship counsellor or psychologist. Choosing a marriage counsellor can significantly affect the course and outcome of the counseling sessions ahead of you.

Choosing a marriage counsellor can be a daunting proposition, as many factors need to be weighed up before making a choice. To find the best, it may be a good idea to “shop around” — compare different counsellors so that you get the one who is right for you and your relationship. One basic tip you should follow is to do a brief research on potential marriage counsellors; to find the best marriage counsellor for your needs; consider criteria such as area of expertise, personality, and credentials. 

A suitable counsellor should help you to make a decision that will give your relationship with your spouse the best chance of succeeding; they should also play a vital role in healing the differences you and your spouse have and ultimately repairing the relationship. Otherwise, it may be wise to look for someone else that could provide better help for your situation.

A particular style we use at our practice, Strategic Psychology, is “The Gottman Method”. It is a fantastic method that focuses on fundamental aspects ranging from trust and commitment which are the significant pillars of a relationship. Couples can benefit from reminding each other of the guiding principles of The Gottman Method of adding more positive interactions — a five-to-one ratio. In other words, for every negative interaction with your partner, add five positive ones.

At the end of the day, it is totally normal for your relationship to get bumpy at points. The size of those bumps depends on the kind of relationship you and your partner are in. It’s critical that couples see conflict as an inevitable part of a committed, romantic relationship. After all, every relationship has its ups and downs. So, don’t take love for granted and adopt a mindset that differences can spark passion and interest.