How to Approach Helping Someone Who Doesn't Want Help

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It can be frustrating when you are faced with the position where you have a loved one, a family member, or a friend who desperately needs help, yet they refuse help. It can be especially scary if they’re diagnosed with a mental illness and not acting like themselves. 

Like any other health problem, someone with mental health concerns needs extra love and support. You may not be able to see mental health, but it doesn’t mean that you’re powerless to help, but helping someone can be tricky. Someone may not realize they have a problem or that a behavior pattern is getting in the way of their success. Or sometimes, they just don’t want to talk and pride may keep them from reaching out to others for assistance.

With that in mind, the most helpful thing you can offer to someone going through a hard time is your presence. Just providing a listening ear can be very comforting. Be patient and let them know you are there for them. You can do this by checking in with them, asking how they are doing, or showing genuine concern through simple actions. 

Let your actions show that you care about them. No matter how many times they say no to hanging out or chatting, invite them the next time. Just the thought that someone wants them around can be enough to help them push back the darkness that day.

However, be careful not to frame all conversations as though your loved one is a burden — don’t just focus on their depression, anxiety, or mental concern. It’s best to be there as you would be even if they didn’t have those problems. You’d be surprised that the more someone is bonded and getting social support, the better they become. 

You can be a wonderful friend, partner, or a family member by being curious about their life — not only asking how they are doing in general, but asking about specific events and other important matters in their life. In doing so you may be able to encourage them to open up thoughts and considerations. Just be mindful of the timing and let them know you truly care.