The 5 Stages Of Grief
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Every person grieves differently, but most of us face the same process after a painful event or losing a loved one.
When someone loses something important, there is a process that one goes through to get through to the other side. The most famous way of describing it is that of the stages of grief; coined by famed psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969.
The five stages of grief break down the way in which we deal with a feeling of loss, from the initial loss itself all the way through to acceptance.
Breaking down each of the stages and how it may relate to how you're feeling, can be really helpful in finding the light at the end of the grief tunnel.
1. Shock & Denial – It is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. When someone first realizes their loss, they may deny that they have lost anything at all. They may be so amazed with the realisation that it’s hard for them to get their head around the event.
2. Anger – Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
3. Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay the painful event. For example, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle.
4. Depression - During the fourth stage, the person begins to understand the certainty of the event. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time grieving.
This process allows the person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
5. Acceptance – The last stage of grieving is acceptance, but this doesn't mean being totally okay or happy with the situation. The individual begins to come to terms with the situation.
It is normal to grieve when we suffer a loss. It is really difficult to be overwhelmed by grief, engulfed in it, to the point where you can no longer see a way out of it.
At such a time, it doesn't serve to deny the pain. Grief is a natural process, and there is an emotional logic to it. Riding it, as opposed to fighting it, will lead to healing. What helps is to observe it with compassion, to experience it, without being swallowed by it.